Cyberhorny: Navigating A Sexual Dystopia, out 5/11 💕

A thesis on the online porn world. The lore behind the book. Cyberhorny: Navigating a Sexual Dystopia, my long awaited treatise about Onlyfans and the vast, dark, magical, horrifying, unregulated internet -- finally has a release date of May 11, 2025.

It started in 2021. On a vacation to Las Vegas with my friend Celeste, our first digital detox after being too oversaturated by screens during covid, I was hit by a psychic download of the term "cyberhorny" to describe the sexistential state of being online. I had been doing OF for a year, and it had progressed from an experiment into a full time job that allowed me to survive in LA. Still, I wanted something more from the experience -- there wasn't much academic or literary discourse about OF/SW that discussed the psychology or philosophy of being online. I wanted to fill that gap, fill that void, fill that hole.

Most books about SW were either a memoir or a historical document. I wanted to create that something in between, that liminal space of artistry, subjectivity, analysis of the sexual collective unconscious. Ideas about various art projects and dissertations had come and gone, cum and gooned, but "cyberhorny" stayed. I felt something happening, some kind of unexplainable vibe shift, but I couldn't identify it. "Your future self is talking to you, it wants to say something to you but you're not meant to break through it yet," Celeste told me.

Revisiting that memory four years later, the missing ingredient was time. I needed to edge these years of lived experience before jacking this book to completion. There was still so much I didn't know, didn't experience. We are foolish when we think we know everything. Egoically, how dare I call myself an expert? Well, I don't know. I guess I know enough. And I got shit to say.

A visiting angel had poured wisdom into me. The demon of subjectivity gives birth to the demonic horde of intersubjectivity. Why do we like the things we like? Why do we do the things we do? Because we can.

Cyberhorny found a home on this website in 2022. I wrote the book between 2023-2025, pulling back from OF to only be a part time creator, part time writer. My brain and body couldn't sustain doing both, the work schematic and the art schematic. I admire people who can balance both art+work full time at a consistent and elevated pace, I'm just not one of them. In quiet, in solitude, I wrote. It was only in a liminal space of work and downtime that the pages revealed themselves to me.

Porn. Book. Unhinged performance art. Adventures in tradwifery. More book.

In 2023, I also wrote and released The Cyberhorny Dream Diaries, a side piece to Cyberhorny, delving into my dreams and creating art from them. This book is not for everyone: if you're not a Nastya fan or an artistically leaning lover of weird psychedelic stuff, you probably won't enjoy it. If you enjoy my vague and abstract stylings, perhaps CDD belongs on your bookshelf. It's an art book, an art piece, not so much a traditional dream-interpreting format. Psychoanalyst Evan Dunn (my co-author) and I essentially had a creative conversation in the form of written word. We did several readings featuring this text, and our follow-up collaboration Pain is Not Enough (published in Car Crash Collective's anthology) -- the performances of those readings were a series of unhinged fashion shows, fake sales pitches, collective trauma-release therapy sessions, stream of consciousness jestership in real time.

It has been a year since I have done a reading or a performance. Even if you love me now, we change. Life is cyclical, multi-phasic. As artists, as humans, we evolve, we go through lived experience, we contain multitudes etc. Paradigms become their opposites: a Carl Jungian enantiodromia. On my last nerve with the hustle and grind culture I had self-flagellated with in the past xx years, I began to long for a soft life, as they say, a simple pastoral nonline idyllic real little life. Husband, house, children, garden, being taken care of, longing to not be a head of household... the pornstar to tradwife pipeline. Many people don't realize that hyper independence is a trauma response, and that being called a "strong independent woman" isn't flattering, it's torturous. Yeah, I put myself out there. Yeah, I do all my shit myself. Yeah, it's not easy but it has to be done. I'm an independent woman not by choice, but out of necessity. I've followed my dreams in the professional context and got what I wanted: many art projects released, success on OF as one of the top creators at one point, respect from my peers etc. It's time for me to follow my heart in my personal life and wean myself off the over-dopamined teat of the grid. But before all that, before I get married and take maternity leave, one last task remains before me: getting out this book I've worked so long on.

In that time, after all this, finally Cyberhorny is coming.

I'm a nonlinear person. Readers expecting a highly organized research piece, a proto-textbook, will be disappointed. Do not order this book if you want to read a historical timeline (Samantha Cole's How Sex Changed the Internet is an incredible resource for that).

Do pick this up if you want to a read a book that goes where few have gone before -- a truly subjective experience, an existential experiment, a plunge into our e-erotic psyche with my life as the medium, my mind as the canvas, my body as the site of experimentation.

Available May 11, 2025 - self published by Cyberhorny LLC

Book signing May 16, 2025 - LA art book fair

BLESSINGS: